Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Cat Came Back...

(The next kyushu post will have to wait until I get better internet access, so please be patient)

So last night after church was interesting. And by interesting I mean uneasy. Stalker-Girl showed up I guess partway through the service, and afterwards she asked someone who Matthew was and was pointed over my way. Little did that person know. Thankfully after a short while Barbara was close at hand to save me from talking to her. Augh, it made me so uneasy. She started asking me if I was still in contact with Derek yadda yadda, and thankfully this time I could say in all honesty that the last time I saw him was the last time he came here. (Not specifying that here meant Tokushima, and that the last time was like a month ago) And also that I couldn't remember the last time he came to church, which was also true; I don't remember the date. So under the law, everything I said was true, and it came out sounding like I've been out of contact with him since time out of memory. 20 points to me! But minus ten points for not finding a way out of that conversation sooner.

Thankfully Chris was wanting me to try burning a DVD for her again, which meant I got to go hang out in a far corner behind a computer screen and beside a girl, which is pretty good stalker repellant, I think. And stalker girl left! Yes! I hope that some of the others were properly welcoming to offset just how cold I by necessity had to be with her...

So 45 minutes later, after the DVD failed to burn, and we still hadn't sorted out the issue, we gave up. Some folks had gone off to this moderately expensive restaurant called The Saigon Cafe, and corraling those left at the church, we decided to go see if it wasn't too late to join them.

Being the efficient (read: aggressive?) driver that I am, I arrived fully six minutes before the others, even though it was only a 6 block drive. How does that work. There were five people at the table, and a seat in the middle that looked perfect for me, between Noam and Julie, who were sitting accross from Yoko (an english teacher from Naruto JHS) and Kaz (a guy Julie invited to church that night) respectively. It wasn't until I sat down that I realised to my utter shock and horror that I had seated myself directly opposite my stalker. She smiled, and the blood drained from my face, I'm sure. So what went on from there was on my part an exercise in lack of social grace and practical cruelty.

I did my best to ignore her and make as little eye contact as possible. This was picked up by Noam who wrote a note on his cell and showed it to me under the table, asking if this was the infamous stalker girl. I nodded. He said he'd been getting a weird vibe. Later, Julie said the same. I really feel bad when I am ignoring anyone, but it's only going to make trouble if I give the girl attention; who knows how she would interperet it? But that didn't prevent me from having engaging conversation with everyone else at the table, which had gotten five people longer when the others had arrived. Unfortunately, it seems that no matter what I said or did contributed to the obsession of said stalker. I guage this by the claps, gasps of delight, and random photo taking. Even though I was pointedly and icily ignoring her.


Has anyone else noticed their self-esteem taking great jumps since they came to Japan?
Comments from last night directed at me included, "If you stop talking, you look like a Greek god." and "Matthew can get away with being weird because he looks good," and "He has a great butt." To be fair, these all came from Yoko, who is pretty ayashii [umm, suspicious, dodgy, ...?] in general, but she's Japanese and it's from Japanese girls/ladies that I tend to get these kinds of comments. Hahaha... yeah. So though she conjectured that I would look like a Greek god if I would shut up, a) it's hard for me to shut up and b) there is no way I can avoid smiling when all conversation at the table stops and people look at me expectantly. In the end they gave up. Which is fine with me. I'd much rather be known for being smiley normal guy than for looking like an indifferent Greek god. Wouldn't you?
Hah, and I'm sure my butt is no more impressive than the next guy's. A rule I have learned in the course of my graphic design education and many years of observing girl's butts is that it's all about packaging. So I just happen to have a well-chosen pair of shorts. And I've got foreigner mystique here, which is worth like a bazillion points in this country. And I think why I get away with being weird is experience. Everyone knows that experience is cool ("shibui" in Japanese) and I have been doing weird since grade school. I get away with it because I am comfortable with it.

Example: For some reason the word "superfluous nipple" came up in conversation, and we wanted to know what the Japanese word for it would be. This ended in me explaining it in Japanse loud enough for all the other tables around to hear, and there to be a moment of silence (read: mild embarrassment) at our table after. See, if everyone else is embarrassed for me, why should I be, too? I think everyone laughed after that moment of silence though, so it was all okay. Funny is good.
Rejoice, eh.


At 7:29 a.m. PDT, Anonymous Lily said...

Haha, another hilarious entry. Sorry, I shouldn't be so amused by the stalker situation. I know how uncomfortable it can be. On the other hand, you are a Greek god with a great butt. So you can handle anything! :-P

At 3:49 p.m. PDT, Blogger Fletcher said...

Well, she does seem to have stopped stalking me (let's pray it stays that way).

At 4:40 a.m. PDT, Blogger Smitha said...

You might be interested to know that when I was in TOPIA for an AJET meeting on Monday, I came across the note she'd left on the messageboard, and it turns out Andrew D. has also met her, and she asked him if he was married and if she could have his contact info...he was a little weirded out by her, and he took her note down. Hopefully nobody else will unwittingly get "ensnared" now.


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